The Bonds of Brotherhood

This entry is from Lincoln's dad Sam.

I know this blog is about Linc and what life is like as his parents, but I think his brother Nicholas deserves an entry. Since he can't yet type, I have decided to do an entry for him.

First of all, I have to tell you, Nico is amazing. He is three years old, soon to be four. He can read like most five year olds and carry on conversations with the most erudite adult. He loves Lord of the Rings (we read it every night) and Star Wars (we watch it every other day). Amazingly, he can knock a softball out of the air with shocking regularity. Nico's imagination is a non-stop factory, constantly cranking out stories and imaginary friends, which he is more than happy to share with anyone at anytime. He is inquisitive, precocious, and compassionate. He is the greatest son anyone could hope to have... and he might just drive me insane.

Its like living with Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes! That cartoon is not nearly as funny to me anymore because I can see myself in the exhausted look in Calvin's mother's eyes. Nico needs constant entertaining. And if you aren't providing it, he's creating it. And Nico-created 'entertainment' is rarely mother or father approved.

I stuggle every day to lead by example, restrain myself from screaming at him, and constanly remind myself that the days of tanning you boy's hide with a belt are long gone. He challenges my parenting skills and tests my patience on a daily basis.

Having said all that, however, he is an amazing big brother.

With siblings there are always issues of jealousy. "Is my sister getting more toys? Is my bother getting more attention?" etc... Well Lincoln has a parade of therapists marching in and out his front door three to five times a week. All of them arriving to dispense as much attention as is humanly possible on little Linc. Nico sees this and he knows there are no specialists coming to dote on him. Lincoln goes to the doctor more often than Nico. He is more often the subject of conversation and concern than Nico. And he recieves loud praise for actions which Nico performs effortlessly and un-applauded. Most second children have far fewer pictures taken of them than their older first-born sibling. Not so with this family. It would be easy for Nico to be bitter or jealous of his little brother, it would even be understandable.

But he isn't. At least no more so than any other kid. It is remarkable. He is wonderfully loving and engaging with his little brother. He includes him in those elaborate imaginary adventures. He hugs Linc when he falls and cries. He takes part in providing therapy. Hell, he's better at remembering words in sign language than his parents are!

Nico is compassionate and empathetic to his brother's 'special needs'. He makes having Linc in our lives easier, not more difficult. I never expected that.

When Lincoln was born Liz and I mentioned to each other while in the hospital that his diagnosis might help to shape his brother into an exceptional man.

Well, he's well on his way.

-Sam