After Nico and I dropped Linc off at school this morning we went off to go hiking at Twin Falls here in Austin. We had a blast so we were gone most of the morning. We came back just in time to pick up Lincoln and headed home for lunch. One member of our family had had a little accident while we were all gone, though. Virginia, the dog, had an upset tummy and apparently should have spent more time in the backyard before we had all taken off to leave her at the crack of dawn.
I headed upstairs to get the carpet scrubber and cleaning spray. Linc watched intently as I scoured the dog’s ‘presents’ from the floor. I left to go get towels to dry the area off and when I returned I found this scene.
Cute huh?
This reminded me of something it’s easy to forget as a parent. I share these pictures not because they are cute, but as an illustration.
Our children reflect us.
No child WANTS to scrub dog poop off the floor. But Linc does want to imitate me, and Liz, and his brother, and his cousins. We see it every day. He dances because he sees his family dance. He reads books because he sees his family read books. He babbles with the sing-song melody of the conversations he hears around him. He will even try to do household chores in his efforts to reflect me.
But what else is he reflecting?
When he yells loudly for attention, is that a reflection of my impatience? When he snatches a toy from his brother, is he reflecting what he sees me do when he has a toy he shouldn’t? When he yells for that bite of chicken that is taking just a little too long, is he reflecting my quick temper? And these are just the small things… What will he reflect in the future? He won’t be reflecting who I think I am, or who I want to be. He will reflect what he sees, who I really am.
This terrifies me. What a heavy burden. “You mean, I can’t just be the lazy uninspired couch potato I want to be and still expect my kids to be energetic inspiring adventurers? You mean I have to be a better person so that my kids will want to be that?”
This is so daunting.
I mean, my parents were such great role models it seems impossible to live up to their example. When I was one year old, my mom suddenly found herself to be a single mother with no college education. So she pulled herself up by her bootstraps and swore that she wouldn’t let my brother and me starve. She managed to pull this off with enviable grace. When I was nine we met Larry, my dad, who was a police officer for 35 years, protecting his fellow citizens at risk of his own life. He lived a life of duty and service, but still to this day commands an air of respect and joy. They showed me how to live with integrity and honesty, how to share compassion and admit when I was wrong.
How can I compete with that? How can I live up to that?
But wait… didn’t I just make the point that children reflect their parents? So doesn’t that mean that I am already reflecting them? And Liz is already reflecting her incredible parents?
I may have just blown my own mind…
Did watching Linc scrubbing a poop stain just make me want to work harder to become Atticus Finch?
Kids will do that to you, I guess.
I want to be a better person for Liz because I love her so much that I want her to have the husband she deserves. Now I need to be a better father for Lincoln and Nicholas because I want the world to have the people it deserves.
So I guess that means that I have to be the person that I think the world deserves too.
Okay, FINE!
But how do I teach my dog to not poop on the carpet?
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