I heard this song on the radio the other day, and it transported me back in time to the days of music videos on TV, to a time when I was first out on my own in my very own apartment and my roommate yelled at me from the other room, “Hey Liz, get in here! You have to see this video I was telling you about.”
By the time the video ended, we were wiping mascara off our cheeks (this was West Texas in the 90’s, so there was no shortage of mascara between the two of us). I remember that I cried every single time I saw the video after that day, but I had forgotten until recently.
Hearing that song again after so many years, and after so many changes in my life, I was surprised that instead of simply reducing me to tears, it brought up thoughts of the portrayal of people with DS in the media. Immediately, my mind went to the late 80’s/early 90’s show “Life Goes On,” which I watched regularly and loved as a child. I don't remember that much about the show other than Corky, one of the main characters, was a teenager with Down syndrome who had a habit of teaching his family and friends tremendous life lessons that were always perfectly wrapped up and tied with a bow by the time the credits rolled. I’m not sure why I was drawn to the show, other than the fact that I’ve always been a tremendous sap, but I feel certain that “Life Goes On” was responsible for changing the way many folks from my generation view people with DS specifically, and perhaps also people with disabilities in general.
If it hadn’t been for the few and far between examples in the media of people who were different than me, I can only imagine that I would have grown up with a very narrow view of people with DS. People of my generation largely grew up watching everyone who was different be shoved into special education classes and isolated from the mainstream kids. We might have seen the kids from the special education classes at lunch or recess, but their removal from our general school experience was fairly absolute. They were the outsiders, and we treated them like that. Even those of us who made a point of being kind to the kids from the special ed classes (on the rare occasions we saw them) understood from the structure of their isolation that we were never intended to form close relationships with the kids with special needs.
Lest I come across as judge-y and holier than thou about this way of educating kids with special needs, I have to remind myself that just a few decades before I was in school, people with DS were simply institutionalized and left to wither and die prematurely on unwashed sheets in forgotten rooms. Sometimes when I see much older people interact with Lincoln, cooing over him and grinning at his antics, I remember that those people would have grown up with little to no interaction with people like Lincoln because people like Lincoln were systematically removed from society during their youth. At first, I found myself wondering what the older population really thought about my son and worrying that they were secretly harboring discriminatory thoughts about him. But after watching older men and women be thoroughly smitten with Linc time and time again, it has become clear to me that we have grown as a society in that regard. Even if they were raised with the message that people with Down syndrome deserve to be locked away, the shift in public opinion has reached them and they no longer seem to believe that. By and large, everyone who meets Lincoln treats him like a precious child, no more no less.
So obviously we've made tremendous progress. Even people who were raised in a time where people with DS were considered useless and just discarded now adore Lincoln. People of my generation, who saw children with special needs isolated and basically treated like a lower caste every day in school, came home and rooted for Corky on a popular TV show at night.
Today, my son is not eligible to attend many daycares and private schools because they are unwilling to take on the extra work of admitting children with special needs. But at least in public schools, our children are being raised in an environment of inclusion and will grow up having relationships with people whose names they would never have known a quarter of a century ago. Of course, that creates a series of challenges for schools already scrambling for resources and I know there are details that need some serious work in the arrangement, but at least it represents a huge step forward for the civil rights of previously discarded or hidden children. And I like to think it represents a huge step forward for all of us as human beings.
I don't know how much the PR campaign of feel good entertainment like "Life Goes On" and "Standing Outside the Fire" had to do with that shift, and maybe we've outgrown that saccharine kind of entertainment all together. Still, I believe seeing positive images of people with DS in mainstream culture shaped my viewpoint growing up. The closest we have to that now are a couple of characters on the love-it-or-hate-it show "Glee." In this case, instead of a character's Down syndrome driving the show's content, the characters with DS are just support roles in an ensemble cast, just part of the landscape not the main attraction, so to speak. While their inclusion on the show is heart-warming, their roles are not necessarily lessons in compassion and acceptance.
I know things are still far from perfect. We still have far more movies and TV shows that rely heavily on the "hilarious" use of the *R* word, whose entire plot is built on making fun of those who are different. (I'm looking at you, Tropic Thunder). But I do believe that overall, we are making steady progress. I don't think there's any doubt that this is the best time and place so far in the known history of the world for my son to have been born. He will have more opportunities, be treated with more respect, and likely live a much more full and happy life than if he had been born in any other time or any other place. Maybe Becky up there can give us a little cheer, "P-R-O-G-R-E-S-S, what's that spell? Progress! Progress!"
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