Parenting in Absentia

Those of you who know us well understand that Sam and I don’t do much the traditional way. We got married young, but we did it because we were in love, not because I was knocked up (imagine that!). Sam is almost as much of a feminist as I am. He cooks, and I use power tools. He takes care of the kids all day while I’m at work, and I take care of the kids on the evenings and weekends while he is at work. Because of our non-traditional schedule, we end up with stories like Sam sitting at story time in the local library and hearing “Hello to all the mommies. Welcome mommies! Oh, and the daddy. We have a daddy here today!”

Sam is an amazing father, and he has done things for our boys that I would never have taken the initiative to do if I were the one home with them all day: he taught Nico to read and write, he has done countless hours of therapy with Linc, he has taken the boys hiking and explored every park in town even in 105 degree heat. Our boys have had such an active, engaging childhood thanks to Sam. Sure, he occasionally put our 2 year old in his brother’s 5T shirt by accident. True, some days when I walk in the door, Nico can’t wait to tell me about the episode of the Colbert Report he and daddy watched together that day. Other days, he tells me about the lizard they spent 20 minutes looking at together. And still other days, I hear how they’ve been dancing around to musicals all afternoon. The point is that he’s made life an adventure for our kids.


It’s easy to feel a little disconnected from them when I’m stuck at work all day, chained to my desk, but Sam does such a great job of keeping me updated on their adventures. He calls me and tells me they are headed to the grocery story because the pasta he’s making for dinner just won’t sing if he doesn’t get some basil to throw in it. Or, he’ll send me a text message with a picture of their trip to the Natural History Museum, the one where he encouraged Nico to break into an exhibit for a great photo op.

Then, for the record, he followed it up with a call to tell me how Nico just about peed his pants when he turned around and saw the mountain lion right behind him. But he assured me, "I told him to never do anything like that when I wasn't around to give him permission."  Good?  I think?  Maybe I'm being a stick in the mud, but I tend to think we should be telling him never to break and enter.

This morning, he sent me an email titled “While dad puts up groceries…” Inside, the text that accompanied the picture just read, “Did you know this tub was full of rain water, Dad? Awesome huh?” 

And later in the afternoon, after picking Nico up from school, he sent me one final update on their day: “Linc is exhausted (you know how you get after swimming).”

See how technology is helping our family stay connected? It’s almost like being there, breaking and entering, sarcasm and all. Hooray for the electronic age.