The Finish Line

This entry is from Linc's dad, Sam.

Well, this will be my final entry. Appropriately, Liz will finish this month-long expermient tomorrow.

This whole experience has been fun but a little tough. I've never been one for keeping a diary, especially when I know someone is going to read it the next day. Its been kind of bizzare, but very cathartic. Many of the things I've written about here are things that have been bouncing around in my head for a while, but have never enjoyed the solid reality of being written down. It has helped me, not to deal with being Lincoln's dad, but rather, to realize that I have already dealt with a lot of the issues I feared might be insurmountable one short year ago.

Isn't family wonderful? Sometimes, when I'm having a rough day, my mind casts back for reassurance from things loved ones have said and done in this past year. Calming words from Larry Barlow, spoken with wisdom and love in a hospital elevator during one of my moments of weakness; the memory of a powerful, wordless hug outside the nursery from my big brother (who had his own recovering newborn and wife back at home); the throaty cheers of "yea, Lincoln," at the Buddy Walk from Wendi, my sister-in-law; and the constant vigilance of a wonderfully involved Grandmother, who wants to make sure that no opportunity or milestone is missed or goes uncelebrated in this little boy's life. These are the things that sustain and encourage me and my family.

And then there's Liz. She is dedicated, as only a mother can be, to providing for Lincoln's future. So dedicated was she, that she dragged her painfully swollen pregnant body all over the 40 acres of UT campus in the heat of a Texas summer, so that she could graduate earlier and start getting benefits as soon as she could. Even after Linc was born and his diagnosis shook our world, she kept pounding away at that horrible online nutrition class, because graduating was even more important now. In the few years that Liz went to the university of Texas, she was pregnant with and gave birth to two children, one of whom had special needs, and she graduated with a perfect 4.0! So important were her children to her that after her last day of school, it only took her ten days to get a job... with benefits. Amazing.

Isn't family wonderful?

Its tempting to look at parenting as a ride, or at least a journey with some destination. As if there will be some great 'day of reckoning' for our efforts. As if some day we will be able to stand at some climactic event and proclaim to ourselves and the world that, "We have done it. We have finished raising this child and we now release him to the public." But that's not the way it is.

This ride doesn't end. There is no finish line. We are parents. We are a family.

Lincoln is teaching us, every day, in different ways how to just relax and enjoy the journey.