feeling like a parent

This post is from Lincoln's dad, Sam. Liz asked me if I would like to participate in this month-long blog and I thought it might be fun.

Here's what has really struck me about being Lincoln's dad... he makes me feel like a parent. He makes me work for it. I was proud of Linc's older brother Nico when he learned to roll over, of couse, but when Linc rolled over it was Earth-shattering. First of all, he did it before either his brother or his cousins (so much for 'delayed development'), but what made it so amazing was that I knew that he did it so early because we taught him how. Liz and I had been teaching him for weeks how to twist his hips, bending his right leg over his body and keeping his left leg straight. We did it with him so often that his brain just took over from our hands and his muscles moved the way that his parents had showed them to.

Lincoln would never have learned how to roll over on his own. At least, not as early as his brother had. No way! He was perfectly happy staying in one pose forever, having his arms and legs positioned by adults like he was a doll. He made us work for it. He made us keep at it, rolling him over and over and over again. But then... one day, he did it on his own.

In that moment, I felt like a parent. I felt it more deeply, and more proudly than I had ever felt it in my life.

I was looking down at this beautiful child who had just rolled over for the first time, and I knew that I had taught him how to do that. I hadn't just taught his brain, but his muscles too, his ligaments, and his inner ear. I had been a parent.

With Nico. I know that he'll turn out just fine as long as I don't screw him up. Its more a matter of avoiding being a bad parent with him than it is a matter of being a good parent. I'll always be there for him, but he doesn't really need me. Anyone could be his dad. I don't mean that I don't love him or feel challenged by him; just that I know he will basically be fine without my undivided parenting.

Lincoln makes me work for it.

Working for it makes me feel like a parent.